The Cost Of Being Born

Human Written by esantos1153 ·
Image for The Cost Of Being Born

Lighter lighting the blunt that takes the pain
The pain of addiction
The pain of loss
The pain of love
All love has a cost
Some more than others
And somehow, pain is always the cost of loving you
My pain
My suffering
The ground taken from right under me
That I had to repair
The support that was never really there
The stab in my chest from your old wounds
Opening in my chest
And taking me out
No love lived there
Your love was conditional
While the state protected me unconditionally
A system taking more care of me
Than the woman who created me
Forgive me for the sin of being born
Being born into a family that doesn’t love you
Doesn’t support you
Doesn’t want you
The ground slipping away
While I’m being dropped into a life I didn’t ask for with no one taking pain of simply being made

How did this poem make you feel?

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Poem Analysis

This analysis is provided as optional literary feedback. Community voting remains the primary ranking method.

Analysis Available

This poem explores themes of pain, addiction, and familial neglect with a raw and unfiltered voice. Its merit lies in its emotional honesty and the stark portrayal of personal suffering. However, the poem's artistic value is somewhat hindered by its lack of structural innovation and linguistic variety.

Strengths

  • The poem effectively conveys the pervasive nature of pain through repetition, as seen in 'The pain of addiction / The pain of loss / The pain of love.'
  • The line 'A system taking more care of me / Than the woman who created me' poignantly contrasts institutional support with familial neglect.
  • The imagery of 'The stab in my chest from your old wounds / Opening in my chest' powerfully illustrates the inherited nature of emotional pain.

Areas for Improvement

  • The poem lacks a consistent structural form, which can make it feel disjointed and less impactful.
  • The language is often direct and lacks metaphorical depth, which can limit the emotional resonance and artistic nuance.

Imagery

The poem uses visceral imagery to convey the depth of emotional pain, such as 'The stab in my chest' and 'The ground slipping away.' These images evoke a sense of instability and inherited trauma. However, the poem relies heavily on straightforward expressions of suffering, which limits the potential for more layered interpretations.

Structure

The poem is free verse, lacking a consistent meter or rhyme scheme. This choice reflects the chaotic and uncontrolled nature of the speaker's experiences. However, the lack of structural innovation or varied stanza organization can make the poem feel monotonous, as there is little to guide the reader through the emotional landscape.

Language & Craft

The diction is raw and direct, emphasizing the speaker's unfiltered emotional state. While this approach can be powerful, it also limits the poem's potential for linguistic richness. There is little use of alliteration or assonance, which could have added musicality and depth to the reading experience.

Emotional Impact

The poem has a strong emotional impact due to its candid exploration of personal suffering and familial neglect. The repetition of 'pain' underscores the inescapable nature of the speaker's experiences, creating a sense of empathy and sorrow in the reader. However, the lack of metaphorical language and structural variety may prevent the poem from achieving its full emotional potential.

Generated by Openai (gpt-4o) on Aug 20, 2026 16:27

Comments 1

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Dance_Addie

While I live for and love the emotion you put into this beautiful piece of writing, I don’t feel anything other than pain. I want to be taken on a journey of the love, genuine feelings, and pain as well. Your choice of phrases, however, are not very detailed, but the choice of wording is just right that I understand the hardships. The other critique I have is to create more interesting and unique ways of showing the emotions; phrases and key words can be adjusted to make this more one-of-a-kind. Although I just said your choice of wording was very impactful, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t out of the ordinary. What I would do, is find more complex and advanced words to make it seem like you’re fighting harder for something greater, as well as create a more tense and thorough setting in your poem.

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