"The Vivid Dream"

Contemporary / Modern Poetry Human Written by Saba hoseini · Sep 09, 2026

In my dreams, there's a faceless soul
You from the future, who loves me as a whole
In my dreams we dance in the rain
You would grasp my hand, as we run in the lane
In my dreams, I run my hand along your face
Giving you all I've got, like it's a race
In the rain, I'm looking messy, but you wouldn't cringe
You love me real, you don't want me to change
You wake my restless butterfly
It flies higher up in my heart's sky
You would put your lips to my scars
We will talk while watching the stars
I will write books about your holy eyes
You smile brightly and sorrow dies
I let you cry all night on my shoulder
You would give me your jacket as it gets colder
I know I will meet you someday and I beam
Somewhere better, more real than my dream
World falls apart and our fates collide
Our souls intwine, the lips aside
You say that I'm your heaven-born bride
And we will live happily ever after, in our secret countryside

About This Poem

This poem is from deep within my heart, inspired by what every human being needs for living, which is love :)

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Poem Analysis

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Analysis Available

This poem explores themes of love and longing through dream-like imagery, depicting an idealized relationship in a future setting. Its artistic value lies in its emotional sincerity and the use of vivid, romantic imagery, though it occasionally suffers from clichéd expressions.

Strengths

The poem effectively uses dream-like imagery to convey a sense of longing and idealized love, as seen in lines like 'In my dreams, there's a faceless soul' and 'You wake my restless butterfly'.
The emotional sincerity is palpable, especially in lines such as 'You love me real, you don't want me to change' and 'I let you cry all night on my shoulder'.
The poem employs a consistent motif of the rain to symbolize cleansing and renewal, enhancing the romantic atmosphere.

Areas for Improvement

The poem relies on clichéd expressions, such as 'happily ever after' and 'heaven-born bride', which can detract from its originality.
Some lines, like 'Giving you all I've got, like it's a race', feel forced and disrupt the flow of the poem.

Imagery

The poem uses vivid and romantic imagery to create a dream-like atmosphere. The recurring motif of rain symbolizes both renewal and intimacy, as seen in 'In my dreams we dance in the rain'. The metaphor of 'restless butterfly' effectively conveys the fluttering excitement of love. The imagery of 'holy eyes' and 'watching the stars' evokes a sense of reverence and wonder, enhancing the poem's emotional depth.

Structure

The poem is structured in a series of couplets, which lends a rhythmic and lyrical quality to the work. The consistent use of rhyme, as in 'face/race' and 'stars/dies', provides a musicality that complements the dream-like theme. However, the lack of varied stanza forms or line lengths may limit the poem's dynamic potential.

Language & Craft

The diction is simple and direct, which suits the poem's emotional sincerity. The tone is earnest and hopeful, with a voice that is intimate and personal. There is occasional use of alliteration, such as 'faceless soul' and 'restless butterfly', which adds a subtle musicality. However, some word choices, like 'intwine', feel awkward and may disrupt the poem's flow.

Emotional Impact

The poem's emotional impact is significant, as it captures the reader's attention with its sincere portrayal of love and longing. The imagery and tone work together to evoke a sense of yearning and hope, creating a resonant emotional experience despite occasional lapses into cliché.