i’m the problem.

Contemporary / Modern Poetry Human Written by Marie Bare · Sep 01, 2026

I write down the thoughts i need to say

I say then and they dont come out quite right,
They never do

They look me up and down and left to right and they dont choose me
Not even me

I think and write all of the reasons why,
But i never can

Maybe because i talk too much
Or i talk about myself too much
Or maybe i was cocky that one day, even though i didnt mean to

I dont understand.

“I have friends,
But i want more.
ones that are real.”

That didnt come out right.
It sounded right when i wrote it.

Maybe thats the reason they look me up and down and left and right…
Because they’re trying to see into me,

And they did

About This Poem

This is how I once felt and always wondered why no one wanted to be my friend, nor why I wasn’t taken seriously. I kept coming up with so many theories of why they didn’t like me, to the point where I wrote it down. After I wrote them down, I said what I wrote to my few friends, where a couple of them stopped talking to me, probably because of how I said them. I decided after that, that I would only write what I felt, because I realized that what I have said, even without meaning to offend someone, had gotten me to where I was.

How did this poem make you feel?

Community Score

7.2

out of 10

4 votes

Optional AI-generated literary feedback.

Poem Analysis

This analysis is provided as optional literary feedback. Community voting remains the primary ranking method.

Analysis Available

The poem explores the theme of self-expression and the struggle to communicate one's true self, capturing the internal conflict of feeling misunderstood. It effectively conveys a sense of vulnerability and introspection, though its artistic merit is somewhat limited by its straightforward language and structure.

Strengths

The poem's repetition of 'look me up and down and left to right' (lines 3 and 15) effectively conveys the speaker's feeling of being scrutinized and misunderstood.
The line 'Maybe because i talk too much / Or i talk about myself too much' (lines 7-8) captures a relatable sense of self-doubt and introspection.
The phrase 'I have friends, / But i want more. / ones that are real.' (lines 11-13) poignantly expresses the universal desire for genuine connection.

Areas for Improvement

The poem's language is often simplistic and lacks the vivid imagery that could enhance its emotional impact, such as in 'I write down the thoughts i need to say' (line 1).
The poem's structure is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety, which can make the reading experience feel monotonous.

Imagery

The poem relies on straightforward language and lacks vivid imagery or metaphorical language. The repetition of directional words 'up and down and left to right' serves as a metaphor for the speaker's feeling of being judged, but the poem would benefit from more sensory details to deepen its impact.

Structure

The poem is written in free verse with no discernible rhyme scheme or meter, which suits its introspective and conversational tone. The lack of stanza breaks and the use of enjambment create a stream-of-consciousness effect, reflecting the speaker's internal turmoil.

Language & Craft

The diction is simple and conversational, which adds to the poem's authenticity but limits its artistic depth. The lowercase 'i' throughout the poem suggests a sense of humility or self-doubt. The poem lacks alliteration or assonance, which could enhance its musicality.

Emotional Impact

The poem successfully conveys a sense of vulnerability and the frustration of being misunderstood, resonating with readers who have experienced similar feelings. However, its emotional depth is somewhat limited by its straightforward language and lack of vivid imagery.