I hate you.
for how a joke slipped from our mouths
and grew teeth in the dark.
for how "I hate you" became something heavier,
something neither of us knew how to take back.
we loved each other badly, I hope.
enough to stay,
enough to wound.
we built whole distances
from misunderstandings,
turned silence into a language,
and spoke it fluently.
we disagreed on things that should've been easy,
matched each other only in rage and regret.
sometimes I still catch myself
in memories that refuse to die,
wondering which version of us
might have survived
if one of us had softened first.
because the cruelest thing isn't that you left.
it's that love stayed.
and now it wanders through me,
looking for somewhere to go.
I hate you.
mostly because I don't........